Protected: HE report draft
January 10th, 2012 by katyBread and circuses
January 1st, 2012 by katyGosh – lots to catch up, so this will be edited highlights.
Sunday 30th October – Operatunity rehearsal, which coincided with a Hallowe’en party thrown by friends. Since L had missed the previous rehearsal, but K hadn’t, they decided to swap round this time, L missing much of the party for the rehearsal while K relied on her keeping him up to date with developments and new songs.
The week which followed was the normal busy round of nothing much, but enlivened by a K’Nex extravanganza on Thursday 3rd November 
Another Operatunity rehearsal for K and L at the weekend, then Bob was off to Germany for a few days, leaving the rest of us to prepare activities on Brazil for Geography on Wednesday: sugar skulls for the Day of the Dead. Thursday was multisport, which the children are enjoying far more with the new team running it, and Friday our day at home to replace the Tuesday we missed through Bob being away. School and music school on Saturday, Remembrance parade and then Operatunity on Sunday and another week had gone by…
Wednesday 16th November was Historyetc which has been blogged so well elsewhere that I’ll just cheat 
The afternoon was spent hastily cobbling together a costume for J to wear to school the next day, when he was to represent Uganda in a UN society debate, and in the evening A, J and I had a babysitting sleepover at Gina’s, leaving Bob to take K and L to yet another Operatunity rehearsal.
The weekend had the usual whirl of music and school, but with added ceilidh on Sunday afternoon (thanks, Gina, for organising – it was lots of fun) which made a nice change from Operatunity – no rehearsal for once, but lots to come…
On Tuesday (22nd November) K, L and A spent a lovely morning going round Wood Green, especially A, who got to answer lots of questions 
and then we had a long chatty lunch with friends and a quick scout round the thift shop before heading to violin, ‘cello, swimming and, eventually, Brownies.
Lots of extra rehearsals that week led up to a full run-through on Saturday afternoon, at which we were joined by Hannah, an old friend and K’s godmother, and then PIL for a quick tea out and, at last, the grand performance. It was very good, an adaptation of Jill Tomlinson’s story The Owl Who Was Afraid of the Dark done to help children to become accustomed to opera and operatic style. K’s comment on Mother Owl (a professional opera singer) was that she had a very loud voice, especially considering her size – “it’s amazing how much voice comes out of such a small person!” – and that her voice was “rather wobbly”; she certainly put plenty of vibrato into her performance!
The following day we delivered J to a brass day which he says was excellent (certainly the concert at the end was very good) and then the rest of us went to Audley End, there to meet up with Bob’s parents ready for a day spent enjoying a Victorian Christmas celebration. We saw elaborate food preparations in the kitchen, were fleeced by the rather dodgy fairground stallholders, watched a potted Christmas Carol, met Father Christmas’s reindeer (but couldn’t face the immense queue to see the man himself), admired the horsemanship of the lancers and the Hunt, watched the lady of the house getting dressed in her numerous layers, listened to a talk about Victorian Christmas traditions, did Christmas craft, found numerous small reindeer hidden in the rooms of the house and thereby earned prizes for the children (popping candy chocolate; A wasn’t at all sure, but K and L liked theirs very much), ate a picnic in the sun (ridiculous for the end of November!), queued for aaaaaaages for a cup of tea (Bob did that bit while his parents admired the kitchen gardens and I watched the children who were busy in the playground) and eventually decided A and L were so tired that they and Bob should catch a lift with PIL and get an early night while K and I went to join J for the end of day concert. I think K would have liked to have gone home too, but there wasn’t enough room in the car; he enjoyed the concert once we got there, anyway 
A Viking History session on Monday kept everyone busy and awake, then Tuesday was a nice relaxed morning and a less than usually busy afternoon, as violin had been cancelled so I decided to cancel ‘cello too. We found out that J’s school was to be closed on Wednesday (not entirely closed, but for his year group at least as enough teachers were striking to mean only essential classes took place) which was good news for us as it meant he could come along and join in with a busy day and we didn’t have to worry about the school run at either end. In the end he didn’t get homework done on Tuesday evening so spent Wednesday morning doing it while K and L took part in a Victorian morning, mostly doing seasonal crafts but with some music and dancing thrown in for good measure Then we doubled back on ourselves and headed out in the opposite direction to a soft play party, celebrating a double birthday with lots of friends from all over the place – and a very impressive cake! L decided to miss ballet for once, which gave us time to pop in for tea and chat at the home of one of the birthday girl afterwards, but there were lots of other people I’d have liked to have seen for longer… at least knowing we had Christmas camp to look forward to made it easier
On Thursday L’s gym had a Christmas special session, with performances by representatives of each group they work with, from the littlest recreational gymnasts right through to Olympic medal-winners. The children each found different things to like best and L was very happy to have been part of it. Considering how much they were trying to pull together, I thought it was very impressive
Saturday morning was music school open day, which meant I got to listen to all the things they’ve been working on and then the afternoon found us at Christmas drinks with a friend – the one who organises lots of activities, some of which we attend, so it seemed only fair to make the effort to go along. It was a good chance to chat to people we didn’t know very well, something I find stressful and rewarding in equal parts 
Sunday 4th I had earmarked as a day to finish and finetune the talk I was to give on Tudor Christmas customs for EWS and her group of ladies, but at quite short notice it was swept away from me by the visit of an old school-friend and her husband, L’s godparents and our children’s guardians should anything happen to us (the children were disconcertingly pleased when we told them that!), who came in time for breakfast, a game of chess with K and then church, followed by a lovely meal at a cafe near church which we’d walked past but never been into before. Luckily once home Michelle didn’t mind me cooking while we chatted, so I was able to get some of that side of the preparation done (and had already prepared the talky bits), L and K showed off their skill at Tudor boardgames and then A decided that Chris needed educating in the art of caring for dolls so took him off to show him what to do, which kept them both busy for much of the afternoon 
Monday 5th December should have been K’s Cubs Christmas party – well, I guess it still was, but he wasn’t there because our plans to meet at EWS’ so that Bob could take the children home and I could stay and talk were changed by discovering that there was an impromptu party going on, to which the children were invited. It made sense for them to go while they waited for Bob but somehow once they were there it was so much fun that they decided to just carry on staying and not go to Cubs at all… Eventually, Bob took them home and I stayed and set up my stuff, changed into Tudor garb (minus coif, so that I could still talk normally) and met the ladies to whom I was to be speaking. It was a very enjoyable evening, ending with carols and then companionable washing up I’ve never before been asked if I’m a hand model or a dancer, so that was a new experience
Wednesday found us juggling schedules again, as K had a recorder exam to get to at about the time I should have been collecting J. In the end we decided J should get the train a few stops further than usual, while Gina very kindly took L to ballet – which was just as well as a few stops further meant going right into town to the main station and the traffic was awful 
It was a watching week at ballet and we made it for most, but it was a relief to know L was alredy there!
Thursday was multisport again, but with added talk beforehand as Ruth came to tell us about otters – very interesting Then on Friday we went to a German Christmas market, kind of :p There were stalls and activities, food and songs and lots of opportunities to use the language, mostly run by HE parents, with a little help from a German teacher and various friends. Lots of fun, if somewhat chaotic! J was finishing at lunchtime so we expected to have to leave early, but Bob picked him up from the station and took him back to work, then we collected him from there, so gained a little extra time. We had a very quiet afternoon, mostly because Bob and I had Evening Out plans Big Alice came and babysat and we went and had a posh dinner at a posh hotel with lots of Bob’s work colleagues – which is where it gets a bit less exciting It was good to have an evening out together though; I can’t remember the last time that happened!
Saturday = packing day, ready for Christmas camp on Sunday….and we’re not even up to the circuses yet, but it’s a new day and a new year and I’m going to stop now and get myself a celebratory drink 
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Happy new year 
May 2012 bring joy, love and peace to all those friends I’ve known and loved for years, those I’ve been privileged to spend time with this year, those I’ve sadly not seen or spoken to for too long and those I’ve yet to meet.
Days with friends
October 29th, 2011 by katyWednesday was a quiet day at home, with visiting friends, then an evening with Big Alice – lovely to have a chance to catch up with people
On Thursday Bob worked from home in the morning so he could take the children (and himself) to dental appointments (they’re currently all on 6 monthly whereas mine are generally annual) which meant that I could finally get some of the larger toys out of the workshop, where they’ve been lurking since Tots had to move out of the church hall for refurbishment, and take them to the now new and posh church hall for rehoming I also took slings to lend to Anna, who is taking over Tots and clothes for R and E, forgetting that they wouldn’t be there. Toys and slings delivered, clothes brought home again… We were expecting Big Alice back again, but she had a nasty m/w appointment and was left feeling too traumatised to come Hopefully things will be sorted by the next one, as changes are underway.
In the afternoon our new minister came round for a cuppa and a chat, just as the children were crafting pumpkins and ghosts for Hallowe’en. Fortunately this didn’t seem to faze him and he fielded lots of interested child chat with good humour He also accidentally reminded me that I was supposed to be at a church council meeting in the evening by mentioning that he had one… I’d not registered that there was one at all, leave alone that it was an important one (Bob puts them on the church calendar, as he is webmeister, but never remembers to put them on our calendar or to tell me!) so that was a Good Thing. We’re considering redeveloping the church and the meeting was with architects who’ve been looking at possible paths to take.
Friday was another day with friends, although this time an away match We went to Gina’s to play – a change from our now regular trips there to work – and met up with Susan and K there too, which my K was very happy about J was very pleased to see Gina’s J again too, as both being in school (but not the same school) has somewhat limited their opportunities to spend time together, and all the children played nicely while adults chatted, so it was a good day all round, with a few bonus bits of music and art thrown in too. Thanks Gina and Susan
Saturday has not quite gone to plan. J had a trombone lesson, so Bob took him and the others to that, intending to take younger ones to the park while J was in his lesson, but ended up taking them all to the park afterwards instead, so they were later getting on with other things than planned. Meanwhile I went to a warehouse sale, only to find that there was a long queue to get in, so I was later than planned too. This meant that Bob ended up taking all children to Make a Difference day at church, rather than me taking J, so they all made sandwiches, laid tables, put out cakes and prepared tea and coffee, then Bob took A home when I got there (she’s very much a home-body at the moment) while the other three worked as waiting staff, serving afternoon tea to paying customers I got to sit and be waited on, which was lovely, but the easy afternoon I had planned was taken somewhat off course when a young man came in, on a strong waft of alcohol, and sat at the table where the minister and I were chatting, clearly in search of help, support, or maybe just somebody to listen to him. We plied him with coffee and listened. We let him hold our hands and tell us about how his awful childhood had affected his adult life, about the many times he had been in prison for things he did whilst running away from life, about the counselling he is just beginning to undergo and how hard it is, but how he hopes it will help him to get out of the cloud he is in. We advised him as best we could, knowing that most of what we said will make no difference at all, given the alcohol-induced fug he was in. We warned him that counselling may make things feel worse for a while rather than better, but that that is part of the process and once you work through that it really will get easier. We tried hard to let him see that God was listening all the times he cried out to Him, but that sometimes prayers aren’t answered directly and sometimes God speaks through other people rather than through instant intervention, miracles or signs. We encouraged him to hold on, to seek help, not to run any more, not to give up. I wish I could have told him to go to AA for support, but he was adamant that drink was not a problem and I no longer have local AA contacts; I don’t know the groups here or what they’re like. If you pray, please pray for him.
Badgers and a giraffe
October 26th, 2011 by katyWe had to go to Nottingham on Tuesday, so asked around for suggestions as to what to do in the afternoon. Wollaton Hall came highly recommended, so we made our way there, through horrible roadworks and traffic, then had trouble finding the park entrance and almost gave up, but once there we were very glad we had persevered
The children started by running off some of their traffic jam induced grumps in the park and then we made our way over to the hall itself (and discovered that there was a car park rather nearer than the one we were in. Tant pis.) passing a large stag on the way, which we thought must be stuffed or a statue until it moved. Apparently he likes to lurk there and survey the visitors, and is especially partial to scones.
We started in the great hall with pictures to colour, which kept A, L and K busy while J and I read information boards about the origins of various Hallowe’en related traditions. From there we moved on through a doorway which gave an enticing glimpse of lion. It turned out to be a room full of cases of preserved and stuffed animals, which reminded me a great deal of visits to the natural history museum at Norwich Castle. I guess it’s from much the same era. We managed to be fascinated rather than saddened – it was all very well laid-out and carefully arranged yet somehow rather forlorn looking too.
The next room was full of birds, some of them in naturalistic settings, many with their eggs (which was fascinating in itself) and with exotic specimens from far-off lands arrayed alongside birds of prey and seaside scenes. The children were entranced, especially A and K, while J was rather taken with all the assorted trophy heads which adorned the walls above the display cases. There was pretty much a whole safari park worth! He wasn’t quite so sure when he realised they were all real though…
Upstairs we found insects: wasps, bees and beetles with their habitat and some utterly beautiful butterflies, all pinned to display boards… again a mixture of fascination and melancholy. The lighting was very well done to show off colours and shapes and there was also a spinny thing to make up your own insect by mixing and matching features, which A rather liked, and a creepy-crawly sentence generator which L enjoyed.
My favourite room was full of minerals and crystals – absolutely stunning! Many of the colours looked just too startling to be natural and we lingered over our favourites only to have our eyes caught by another and another.
There was also a room with cushions, but not enough for all the children to sit on them, and video playing, but so quietly that it was pretty much inaudible, which was frustrating on both counts so we moved on and instead watched a different video with a presentation on taxidermy – specifically how a badger was rebuilt, for want of a better word. The video was accompanied by a partially made badger framework and a finished stuffed badger. After that there was much looking for seams on other animals
From there we stepped into a little part of Africa, including a rather lovely giraffe, a pair of elephant tusks of rather impressive size and George the Gorilla, with his rather sad story (he was the first gorilla to be caught and stuffed and was displayed in the Paris Exhibition in 1878 before being bought for £5000 and brought to Nottingham). There were also books to read (which of course the children greeted as a major attraction!) and some footprints to match with their owners
Another favourite was the display of jellyfish and similar sea creatures, made of glass because obviously they can’t be stuffed, and described as being not quite art and not quite science but “with a tentacle in each” Leopold Blaschka, a glass blower with a keen interest in natural history, first started by making glass models of flowers and was then commissioned to make a display of marine invertebrates for Dresden museum – the start of a whole new direction for him and his son Rudolf.
A quick pop to the shop and we were off back to the park… only to return a few minutes later when the boys realised they had left their diabolo somewhere in the museum. This gave the girls a few more minutes of colouring (and me a few minutes of peaceful sitting) and then we really were off, via an ice-cream and a play in the park, to home.
Battle, National Schools Film Week and Festival of Ideas 2011
October 24th, 2011 by katyJ is on half-term (which means I’m overdue a post about J being at school, but you have to start somewhere and for want of anywhere better I’m starting here) for two weeks, so we’ve been making the most of the chance to do the sort of things we used to see as routine for home ed but which have been a bit harder to do with school added into the mix.
On Friday 14th we dropped J off at school and drove to catch the tube, heading for Abracadabra at Wigmore Hall . A mixture of music and magic, it was fab and we all enjoyed it very much – the children’s only regret being that at just under an hour it was nowhere near long enough. Neil Henry was presenting/narrating (and performing little tricks along the way, such as producing eggs from various parts of the musicians) the story of the ugly duckling, with musical accompaniment from members of the Aurora Orchestra on ‘cello, violin, viola, flute, oboe/clarinet and harp – the concert began with an impromptu lesson in harp-string changing as one broke at just the wrong moment. We heard the overture to The Magic Flute, variations on Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, Arthur Bliss’s Conversations (not heard these before, but very much enjoyed them, especially the Committee Meeting!) and something else which I can’t for the life of me think of now – will have to find the programme and check! Afterwards we had some time in hand but not much so walked a short way to see the Wallace Collection, where we had a picnic outside then went in to admire some paintings, discovered that A is really rather into furniture (she remarked on all the cabinets we saw and was intrigued by how they were made) and pictures of pretty girls (no surprise there, though), while L enjoyed spotting Bible stories in pictures and K was rather taken with all the arms and armour. While we were there a lunchtime talk was announced, on the preservation and repair of old armour so we found our way to the basement for a fascinating discussion. We saw different types of chain mail, with plain round links and riveted links and found out that any new links put in when repairing chain mail are marked with a tiny HH so that future conservators won’t get confused if they have accidentally not done it the same as the originals. We also learned about enamelling, how to protect silver from tarnishing, that hippo leather is translucent and much much more
Saturday 15th was the English Heritage Battle of Hastings, although J gets very cross when you call it this and insists it was the Battle of Battle, near Hastings (apparently his History teacher is rather evangelical over this!) and since J had no school and the others no music school we decided it was time for us to finally make it to the Battle A decided to stay at home with Bob – I think she is missing being at home and opts to stay here whenever possible now. I’m sick of driving so we caught the train, which would have been better had J actually got up in time (still, I guess it was the first day of the holidays for him ) but as it was we arrived at about midday, having aimed for 10:30. Ho hum. Rushing to get to storytelling session (which had started early and therefore finished early so we missed all but the last few words ) we spotted the Beans and Manorborns and joined up with them (or at least the children did with their children) for a children’s battle, which was great fun
We also wandered round the Saxon encampment, and a little round the Norman one, but that was smaller and didn’t have the added draw of market stalls and found an amazing storyteller who used his own version of the Bayeux Tapestry (but not) to recount the Battle of Maldon, with K getting to wear lots of armour and carry a shield (not the linden wood one, although he did try it – close-grained enough to stop and hold a sword or axe, it’s also very heavy!), sword and spear, while L and J helped him to create a shield wall and L was given a spear she was warned was very sharp so she shouldn’t aim it at anyone unless she really meant it – “you’ll be in just as much trouble anyway, so you might as well have some fun out of it!”
Returned to children’s area for storytelling (a different version of the Battle of Maldon) and then back for a wander round, quick look at a Viking (?) ship, but too late for the naval battle, potter round the stalls and finding Beans and Manorborns again to sit together for battle. We thought we had a not-so-good place as the ground was sharply sloping in the wrong direction and all we could see for ages was Saxon backsides, but as it turned out we had the best seats in the house when it came to the end of the battle, as it all happened right in front of us
Normans victorious (C, J and I were trying to think of things we could have shouted at them in French to parry the things they were shouting at us), the children asked to go round stalls and encampment alone while grown-ups drank tea. We eventually caught up with them sitting outside a Saxon tent, absolutely entranced by tablet weaving, which a kind re-enactor was teaching them to do. Lots of atmospheric photo opportunities as the evening drew in but that also meant it was time for us to be taking our leave, back to the station and home.
Sunday 16th – Operatunity for K and L, while J and I hunted for a new watch for him, since he managed to lose his at school 
Monday 17th – a History session followed by a play in one of the many parks we seem to go past without ever having time to stop and play. It was good Monday night is judo night, and for once J, K and L all managed to make it – generally K has Cubs now, and J is often too tired, then L doesn’t want to go on her own.
Tuesday 18th – our weekly mostly-at-home day, minus ‘cello as teacher busy, but with violin as usual, then swimming and Brownies. Not really at home much then
Wednesday 19th – Historyetc Lovely day, with masses of activities and nearly enough time to chat with friends. We were enjoying it all so much we stayed a bit too long and ended up making K late for his book group… Then spent an hour in the library waiting for him – my children’s idea of heaven and something we don’t do nearly enough!
Thursday 20th – finally we had a day free to make the most of National Schools Film Week, with a trip to see Gnomeo and Juliet. We took E and S with us, and all the children really enjoyed it, as did I – much more than I had expected. Lots of fun allusions for older children/adults/Shakespeare scholars to pick up on, and lots of slapstick humour too. Sad bits too – very poignant when the flamingo tells of how his love was destroyed by the hate of others (how sad is it to have to admit that I cried at a story told by a pink plastic garden ornament? ) – but the requisite happy ending, complete with song and dance number
Then we went on to HE sport, the first time we’ve made it since new coaches started. J was very pleased to be able to make it (and wants to know if it will always be on in his holidays – sadly I think not) and even L was able to join in, as they needed one extra to make up numbers for a team.
In the evening I had a BF support team meeting, which was good – interesting discussion on the necessity or otherwise of vitamin supplements for BF babies and a grant to spend on resources – any ideas welcome
Friday 21st had an early start, with ‘cello lesson at 9, then 10:30 found us at the cinema again, this time to see Kirikou et les Betes Sauvages which was… interesting. It was in French with subtitles, which was a bonus, but it was odd seeing things which supposedly happened in the middle of the events of the previous film (Kirikou et la Sorciere, which we saw last year) and that took a bit of getting your head round. A was particularly confused as to why the witch was still bad, when we knew that Kirikou had made her good…
Then we dashed across town to see (hear?) Peter and the Wolf and Carnival of the Animals, along with hordes of rather noisy school children. Still good though
Saturday was to have been a trombone lesson for J (with his old teacher as lessons at school haven’t really happened yet) and then straight on to the Festival of Ideas, but sadly the car wouldn’t start when we tried to move on form the trombone teacher’s house, so we went in for a chat and a drink while Bob came to the rescue. Quick exchange of children, J and A opting for home instead, and K, L and I went on to a circus skills workshop, which was great – K learned two new tricks on diablo and I can now spin plates When that ended we moved on to Prehistory, including painting with pigments made from ground up chalks, earth and so forth, investigating (by candlelight) cave paintings, having a “tattoo” done, watching tanners and smelters at work, grinding flour, making bread (but missing out on eating it as we weren’t quick enough when it came out of the oven) and throwing a spear with and without a spear thrower. We could have stayed longer (and would have liked to, as friends were there too) but really wanted to get to see Anglo-Saxons and Egyptians too. As it worked out, we could have gone on a tour which would have told us about Roman and Anglo-Saxon bodies found in the grounds but that would have meant very little time for anything else so opted instead for making shabtis and masks, whilst learning about Egyptian culture from the very friendly and knowledgeable students running the activities. We didn’t make it into the museum, though, so will have to look into doing that another time.
Sunday 23rd was October Plenty which I have wanted to do for a while, so J, L, A and I went there, while K stayed with Bob to do normal Sunday things: church and operatunity rehearsal (he felt that if L was not going then he needed to, so he could tell her what she had missed). Lots of photos should shortly be available to tell the October Plenty story for themselves, but in short we wore strange clothes, processed, watched a play, sold programmes, listened to stories (and I ended up telling one too, as there were children waiting and the storyteller was not around), tried lots of different types of apple, listened to some fab music, chatted with friends, J entered an apple peeling competition and got a prize (despite having thought the aim was speed rather than length of peel; he says he’ll do better next year now he knows what he’s meant to be doing!) and we came home with a leek and a small sheaf of wheat from the dismantling of the Corn Queene – which L and A then very much enjoyed giving out to strangers on the way home, explaining that they were sharing the Plenty and spreading the harvest
On Monday (today – phew!) we had fun at a Play with Maths session – a long way away but worth the journey, I think – and then dashed back in another direction entirely to meet up with an old friend, the French assistante from a school I taught at. We went to a couple more Festival of Ideas things, firstly an interesting display about coral, which included a (video) performance by David Bower, a deaf actor incredibly adept at using facial expressions. The children were spellbound for ages! A cup of tea and some macaroons later we met up with Bob and handed over the three youngest children, leaving J, Marie-Laure and me to go to Adventures of a Palaeolinguist, an excellent talk from James Clackson (who incidentally finds the term “palaeolinguist” a bit annoying as it mixes Greek and Latin) about how linguists/historians can begin to work out what ancient languages mean and where to even begin when faced with a piece of script you know nothing about. I was surprised but pleased when J asked a question (about pronunciation) and there was lots more I would have loved to have heard. Loads of information on screen though – handouts would have been good, as once it had gone I couldn’t remember it
Cheeky chips on the way home
I never intended to have children.
September 25th, 2011 by katyI don’t mean that the four we now have were an accident, or unwanted, or even unplanned, but somewhere along the line something changed and I went from thinking that children were a nice idea, but not my own, to thinking that at this time, with this man, I could begin to think about dealing with the issues I had around birth.
It was never that I didn’t want children – I did; even as a child who could not envisage wanting to get married or give birth I planned to be a teacher but also to adopt, foster or generally look after as many little scraps of humanity as I could. My great aunt, a single woman who took in lodgers, took on a Barnardo’s boy, looked after nieces and nephews and was generally everybody’s favourite auntie, was my heroine and I planned to do much the same. My role as class agony aunt had put me right off boys so having my own children didn’t seem likely to be an issue. And then I met Bob.
This post is meant to be about health in pregnancy, as part of a blog hop to launch Tommy’s new 5 point pregnancy plan by encouraging us to think about our first pregnancy and what we learned from it about planning and having a healthy pregnancy. I guess that means it’s time for me to talk about my first pregnancy – the one that I had always insisted would never happen.
I was very lucky, I think, to find somebody who said he would support me in whatever choices I made. If I remained adamant that I didn’t want to have children then that was fine – we could adopt, foster or just make the most of ourselves as a couple without children at all. If my feelings changed then having our own children was fine too, and somehow, gradually and I think partly as a result of that unquestioning support, things did change until eventually I was quite desperate to have a child with this man, who was by then my husband. Of course, life being the way it is, having made that decision nothing happened and I spent several years working as a teacher but wishing, hoping, dreaming of having a child to stay at home with instead. I was still too uncertain about the whole thing ever to voice the longing but it persisted, overriding my fears, and eventually there was a line on a stick and….
all of a sudden it was real – and overwhelmingly scary.
My mother had died in childbirth, and I had never quite known why – only the explanation given to me by an older child at the time (I was 5; I don’t even remember who she was, only that she was telling me things grown-ups wouldn’t) that the baby had been cut out of my mummy’s tummy and had taken too much blood. I guess at that point she hadn’t yet died or presumably that would have been part of the story too; I found out later that she had held on for a while, although without regaining consciousness and received 16 pints of blood before the doctors gave up and stopped trying to pump in fresh supplies of what was pumping out so rapidly. My father never spoke about her and I didn’t dare to ask him. My paternal grandparents came out and took me and my new baby sister back to England with them, but they hadn’t been there so didn’t know much either and actually they probably wouldn’t have felt it right to say anything even if they had known the whole story. My mother’s family, although they might have talked about it, again knew very little. The whole thing was just a mystery to me and left me feeling that having children was somehow a very negative thing, unsafe and in any case unnecessary, given how many children in the world were unwanted and uncared-for. I got on with living a kind of adult childhood, taking very seriously the words of those who had told me, helpfully, that it was my job to look after my father and my little baby sister now (please, please don’t ever say those words to a newly bereaved child!) and concentrated on becoming a little mother to everyone, thinking as little as possible about my own mother because that made me cry and then people would stare…
Now I was pregnant I had to think about her. Everywhere, it seemed, I came across articles and advice suggesting that my pregnancy and labour were likely to echo my mothers’. Even at my booking-in appointment I was asked about family history and had to explain. Other women I met at ante-natal groups talked about their mothers and how much help they would or wouldn’t be before, at or after the birth while I sat there thinking how unfair it was that my mother wouldn’t have the chance to be helpful or not helpful at all.
My response to all the turmoil this caused was to seek knowledge. My aunt gave me the letter my father had written from the hospital just after my mother’s death, which tore my heart in two, his grief was so raw in it. From that letter I found that she had had a C-section on medical advice because of previous blood losses (when having my brother and then me) and that she had had multiple and massive transfusions but had not regained consciousness at all. It gave me enough to start to talk to health professionals about what might have happened. I needed to do this for my own mental health, because otherwise I wasn’t sure I could go through with this pregnancy but equally my own convictions meant that there was no way I could have a termination.
I was immensely fortunate in finding myself registered at a surgery with domino midwives, who prided themselves on being “the natural midwives” and encouraged me to find out as much as I could about how to have as natural a labour and birth as possible. I have a great need to stay in control of my body (I don’t drink as part of this) and that coupled with my mother’s death as a result of a C-section meant that I was petrified at the thought of giving birth any way other than naturally. The midwives were determined to help me to make that happen. Again, I decided that knowledge was my friend. I already had a healthy diet (vegetarian but balanced, so my iron count was good enough to surprise those who had been convinced I would need supplements as a matter of course) and was of a healthy weight. I reminded myself that I wasn’t eating for two but in fact for something more like one and a twelfth and made sure there were carrot sticks and similar healthy snacks available all the time. Actually, Bob did most of this, because the biggest physical problem I had was tiredness. I would get home from work and fall asleep on the settee, books for marking spread around me, and be woken by my lovely husband with food and drink then tucked into bed. Morning sickness was met with a cup of tea and cream crackers or ginger biscuits in bed the instant I woke up – plain carbohydrate in small but regular doses seemed to be the best answer for keeping nausea at bay.
The midwives ran an Aquanatal class at the local swimming pool, which was great both for the exercise and for the chance to meet the whole team – and fortunately for me fell on a day when I could get away from school for long enough to attend most weeks. Then there was an antenatal yoga class, which fitted in perfectly with all my dreams of natural childbirth – and taught me to drink fruit tea, which I had never been able to stomach until then. We squatted and stretched and shared ideas and even after the few sessions I could afford (it was cripplingly expensive) had finished I still maintained the exercises. I went to a chiropractor about my back, which had been dodgy since a childhood car accident, followed by a fall in my teens, and was delighted to find that he could fix it for me. In fact, I suspect that the time I was expecting my first child I was probably the fittest and healthiest I have ever been, physically.
Mentally, however, it was a different story. I was doing all I could to be healthy and to prepare for a safe delivery of a healthy baby, but there were so many things I just didn’t know and they ate away at my peace of mind. I had to know more. We had signed up for NCT classes on the advice of friends and finally the time came for us to go along to those. At first it was hard because once again we had the discussions about mothers and their influence, once again I found myself having to explain the reality of being (about to be) a motherless mother, once again I cried and tried not to cry. The tutor was excellent, though, and set aside time to have chats with each of us about our fears and concerns. She was training to be a midwife and so had access to more information than I had alone. I showed her my precious letter and together we tried to piece together what had happened. She said (and a doctor I spoke to later confirmed it) that she felt my mother had been poorly advised, that PPH, which appears to be what had happened in the first two births, is not generally considered to be best dealt with by C-section, that there were drugs now to deal with it if it happened. We talked about positions for birth and about the third stage of labour and how it could be managed (or not) to make risks as low as possible. I came out of those sessions feeling so much more empowered than I went into them that I felt this baby thing might actually work out okay!
I did optimal foetal positioning – scrubbed and polished the wooden floor in the hall until it was almost dangerously shiny and slippery just so I could get on my hands and knees and be “upright, forward and open”. I took prenatal vitamins and ate healthy foods, practised my yoga exercises and swam, squatted to get strong enough for upright birth positions and generally felt as much in control and connected with my baby as I could. Perineal massage (ouch!) was supposed to help prevent tears, Bob learned aromatherapy and massage for labour, we got a birthball and left it partially inflated so it would fit in the Mini but still be quick to blow up at the hospital. Bob compiled an album of music he thought I’d find helpful and I washed nappies, packed my hospital bag and practised using a sling. We felt just about ready – although I remember saying to Bob after we’d been visiting friends with their newborn that I’d love to offer to look after it for them for a few hours so they could rest, but wouldn’t know how – and then realising with a jolt just how soon we would have a newborn ourselves and would have to work it out!
Around 38 weeks I had a massive attack of doubt again. I had started maternity leave so I guess I had more time to think about things. I wasn’t sleeping, despite hot milk and warm baths. I had to wake Bob up to get him to help me turn over at night. Most of the other babies from our NHS and NCT classes were due before ours and the (grand)mothers seemed to be all rallying round to support their daughters, leaving me feeling conspicuously unsupported. I worked through everything I knew, planned and replanned, wrote out my wishes and expectations and tried very hard to keep things as open as I could so that I wouldn’t be disappointed if it went wrong. I would have liked a home birth, having lost my mum in hospital, but this was the one thing Bob put his foot down over – if anything went wrong he wanted to know we were where we could get medical attention as quickly as possible – so I made sure I knew exactly what was likely to happen (domino midwife system a saviour here – I knew one of “my” team would be around and that knowledge made a huge difference to me) and that I had written down everything anybody might need to know in any conceivable scenario. It passed and by due date I was feeling calmer again and managed to stay that way despite a letter from midwifery services saying that due to cuts and short-staffing the domino team would no longer be available all the time (just made a mental note to keep my legs crossed if baby started to arrive at the wrong time) for the few more days until my number one son decided to put in an appearance.
As it turned out, the labour was about as good as it could have been. I didn’t go into hospital after all, because things progressed very quickly, with the timing just about perfect to catch my midwife just as she came on duty (having been told by hospital when we phoned there that it couldn’t possibly be real labour if it was that fast and we should wait) and have her come out to us – only to ask if we had considered having the baby at home, because otherwise we’d have to go in on a blue light and probably still have it in the ambulance, which was always very annoying because you had to call the baby after the ambulance driver…
That house had a lovely big bathroom, so we went there and Bob sat on the loo and supported me in a lovely open squatting position while the midwife made me laugh and chat and work all at once until… there he was!
I’ve had three more since then, but this first pregnancy and labour is the one I remember most fondly. It was such a luxury, although I didn’t know it at the time, to be able to savour my baby, my moments in communion with that little being, that scrap of humanity, inside me. I am so glad that I sought out the knowledge I did – and so grateful for the help I received in doing that – because for me that knowledge was empowerment. Knowing just what might happen and just what I could do about it if it did, as well as knowing at what point I was prepared to hand everything over to medical staff (and having primed Bob to ask the right questions if I couldn’t) made it so much easier for me to birth the baby I had intended never to have. As things turned out it was in many ways an easy and straightforward labour and birth – except for the fact that he came too quickly for me to have got to the hospital, I tore and had to be stitched (by bike light, because there was no torch around) and PPH meant the natural third stage I had optimistically planned was not to be. I do sometimes wonder, if I had made it to the hospital, if I hadn’t had the knowledge I had and made the plans I had made, would it have been so straightforward? Being prepared gives power, knowledge gives power and if there’s one thing a woman in labour needs, and one thing which is frequently taken away from her, it’s power. Researching my options, looking after my health so that I kept those options open, exercising regularly so that I would be able to give birth the way I wanted, or recover more quickly from a more intervention-heavy birth – all of those things not only kept me healthy and lowered the risks of things going wrong anyway but also kept me sane at a time when I was struggling to deal with some big issues. My father, by the way, barely spoke to me from the time he found out I was pregnant until the baby was born; I guess he was wrestling with issues too.
All three of my subsequent babies were planned home births and all went smoothly, apart from the second who arrived two weeks early, when I was in full denial and panic mode, having the same doubts as at 38 weeks last time around, and then came very fast, while a midwife I had greeted with relief stood by and watched. Presumably she thought I had done it before and wouldn’t want any interference when actually all I wanted was the chat and fun and reassurance of the midwife at that first birth. As a result many of my fears returned and baby number three would not have happened at all had it not been for the really rather excellent Birth Afterthoughts service which helped me to plan and get in control again. Babies three and four were both born in water, with a clear plan and a list of what I did and didn’t want to happen and if not quite the healing process I needed were at least happy enough events not to haunt me as birth number two still does, just a little, usually in the wee small hours.
The biggest difference, I think, between my first pregnancy and my second was how much time and effort I was able to put into preparation. For baby number one I was (had to be!) ultra prepared, whereas pregnancy number two found me splitting time between work, toddler and bump, with bump getting the least share as I planned to catch up once maternity leave had started. Then he came early, before I was ready at all, and an apparently straightforward birth left me traumatised emotionally and wrung out physically. I was careful not to make that mistake again, but put aside some “bump and me” time for the others, made an effort to get to antenatal exercise classes, dug out the yoga stuff – and hired a birth pool, which made a huge difference!
Second, third, fourth, fifth days of Christmas
January 9th, 2011 by katyDays 2 – 5 mostly taken up with Holiday Orchestra and lots of nothing much around the edges, a bit of house sorting, a bit of F sorting, both work and heart, some cooking and shopping (new boots for L as well as interesting food to make a hamper for Big Alice and John) and general holiday laziness. On Wednesday we went to see friends on the way back from HO and chatted a lot about En Famille – we did a reference for them and they are now about to start their exchange, having discussed it between families and decided January suited them both better than Sept.
HO finished with a bumper day, which started with getting the boys there by 9:30, then J’s Gamelan performance at 10:10 and K’s at 11:30, collect K at 1.20 and J (and SB) at 1:30, then back for J/SB rehearsal 2 – 2:30 and back again for first presentation concert at 4:30 and second one after that. All very good, but a long day, and only having one car meant the girls and I did the whole thing so Bob could work from home. In the afternoon gap we walked into town and had baked potatoes from the stall there – a key part of my student life and then a place we frequented when J and K were tiny Whilst sitting there eating them an old friend strolled past, so we had a lovely (but brief, as we had to get back for the concerts) chat and promised to catch up soon. Her son, B, was at school with J and used to come round for tea once a week, even after J had left the school. Bought tasty but expensive tea from M & S as now not enough time to get to cheaper places and then dashed back via routes through/between nice colleges to show F
Concerts good – recorded relevant bits on Flip, which F then accidentally took home with her – ho hum! A managed really well, watching (and videoing) first concert, then spent most of second concert on my lap snuggling to sleep. Home and to bed…
The First Days of Christmas
January 5th, 2011 by katyAssuming the first day of Christmas to start on the evening of December 25th rather than the morning of 26th…
On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me… some liquorice that was just too salty (although fortunately some of our New Year visitors liked it) and, on behalf of the children, several lovely books (although one is now sadly out of date, thanks to a tragic incident which allegedly will sAttc – I couldn’t bear to listen, but that was okay because they repeated the moment on Radio 4 ad nauseam ) Simon’s Cat is almost as good on paper as on screen, but lacking those little chirrupy cat noises. I’ve not yet started A Little History of the World but I think it might be coming to bed with me once I’ve worked my way through all the Harry Harrison books the children gave Bob while Stephen Fry’s Ode Less Travelled might have to wait a while for me to have enough time to do it justice. Apparently I used to write poetry…
PIL did an almost excellent job this year, with a QI book for Bob, lovely warm slippers for me, some Peppa Pig bits and pieces for A, a fleecy blanket for L, a dinosaur kit for K (which he assembled the very same day and then could barely restrain himself from painting it before the glue dried) and a curious blank for J (presumably his parcel fell out of the bag somewhere along the way); fortunately there were also a couple of “all the children” parcels so we declared those to be his The joint subscription to Aquila is their favourite thing though
I’m getting ahead of myself, however. Christmas Day started for us at about 8, when the children came in to show us their 
stockings (handily stocked with food and drink which had held them off for a bit ) and then opened one present each before church – picking the ones they wanted to take to show: a magic Box of Tricks for J and K, which J practised on the way so he could show David, our local church minister, a trick, ear warmers and fleece for K, a little doll from her stocking for A and a warbling bird, also from the stocking, for L. The service was lovely – thought-provoking, fun, lively – it’s a shame David will be moving on this year, and really doesn’t make our still ongoing which church dilemma any easier.
We came home and had a snacky kind of lunch, then another 
present each, which gave us all something to do before it was time to get the dinner going. L’s godparents gave her a castle which needed putting together (Bob did it, but I thought it looked odd, read the instructions and redid it ) and then about 4000 stickers putting on; she’s about 1/10 of the way there so far… K had his dinosaur to do, J lots of magic trick to learn and A helped with the stickers, had stories read to her and generally pottered about. I lounged on the settee feeling a bit bleurgh and migrainous but managed to shake it off enough to supervise cooking. A did a good job of making pigs in blankets, Bob did stuffing balls (he’s the only one who likes stuffing anyway, so if he doesn’t make them he doesn’t get them!) and J and K peeled potatoes while L helped me with the sprouts. Dinner was a veggie version of traditional all the trimmings Christmas fare, then we watched One Ronnie, especially loving the Blackberry sketch, before flaming the pudding and opening a couple more presents. Nice quiet family day We talked to Bob’s family on the phone, then tried to phone my dad, but he’d had his favourite kind of Christmas dinner (beans on toast, then mince pies washed down with whisky) and gone to bed so we talked to Mamgu instead and arranged to phone again on Boxing Day, when my sister would be there too.
So on the real first day of Christmas we headed off to Norfolk to have lunch with my aunt and uncle. The children were a bit disappointed that my cousin and his family weren’t there, as they’d been looking forward to a game of football, but they always like visiting there anyway; Auntie Norma has lots of interesting things to do We phoned Tadcu and Polly and had a nice chat, also checking that Polly is still up for coming along to CP with us. She’s not sure Adam will make it, unless 
weather clears up a lot for them (so need lots of good weather vibes for mid-Wales please!) but she should be there for most of the time Couldn’t stay too late, as boys had holiday orchestra the next day, but my aunt keeps toothbrushes etc there so children were all able to clean teeth and get ready for bed then fall asleep in the car, which helped.
On the second day of Christmas my true love gave to me… a lie-in (with the girls) while he took the boys to holiday orchestra. In the afternoon I did some provisions shopping and F arrived, come to stay for a few days with a long list of work to do in our nice peaceful, conducive-to-work environment 
And that’s as far as I’m going to get for now… I’m going to take my books to bed…
December – nearly Christmas…
January 4th, 2011 by katyI think we were just about to leave for Okehampton when I stopped
So, a fairly easy drive across rather too much country to get there and we arrived and unloaded just about in daylight, which made things easier. The boys enjoyed using the cage to carry bags from the car and then it was just a question of lugging everything upstairs and we were done. The usual socialising, dishwasher loading and unloading, kitchen helping and so forth kept me busy while the children for the most part threw themselves into the melee and just resurfaced for meals and occasional reassurance. A was a bit clingy at times and not quite certain of so many people, but still spent a fair bit of time pottering. We managed a bit of music practice most days and read Story of the World as bedtime stories, if only so that we had caught up in time for the Historyetc morning, which involved purple dyed linen squares, fimo charm making, glass bead stringing and a plague of frogs to help us remember Phoenicians, Egyptians and the Exodus. We had a trip out to take part in a nativity at Pennywell which was absolutely freezing (when we were asked to keep the barn door shut so as not to let the heat out I was hard put to it not to ask “What heat?”) but a lovely experience nevertheless. J, K and L enjoyed meeting the animals beforehand, especially J who liked cuddling the ducks, but A was so cold that she just wanted to huddle up under my coat. The Santa visit was a little disappointing, as both boys got the same gift, which didn’t really suit either of them, but L was happy enough with hers (and even happier to swap it for a secret diary) and A is still carrying her teddy around with her Warming up with tea/mulled wine and mince pies afterwards was very pleasant, but we somehow managed to miss the fact that almost everybody else was going to a glass/marble museum on the way back Still, getting back early meant that we were able to make a start on tea prep and fortunately the children didn’t notice that they had missed out, or if they noticed, didn’t make a fuss. L very much enjoyed taking part in a play with some of the older girls, despite missing some of the rehearsals because of her mean mother making her go to bed and the boys enjoyed table tennis and pool (?) as well as the inevitable DS-ing. Oh, and there were a couple of walks as well, which I missed because of being busy in the kitchen for one and with a grumpy Anna for the other, but J did both and K and L the longer, colder one (once L had been coaxed into putting on more clothes!). There was snow on Christmas Day, which was excellent timing, and a lovely Christmas dinner, lots of carols and presents… just how Christmas should be
On the way back from Okehampton we decided that it was a shame to have gone so far and be so near to Stonehenge without going to see it, so we detoured from our planned route to go that way, stopping for Daktarin for L’s sore mouth on the way (thanks Jan!). It was the first time any of us had been there and it was quite magical in the snow, but incredibly cold! The car park was closed because of ice, so we had to park further down the road and walk back, slipping and sliding and hoping it would be worth it. It was. We borrowed audio tour sets, but mine wasn’t working (too cold for the batteries, the chap said, and I certainly had to work on warming up my camera batteries to get that working) so the children had to give me edited highlights from theirs. We didn’t hang about, but took lots of pictures and listened to the tour as we were walking there and back rather than in the right places, then lingered in the gift shop, sorely tempted by the snowglobes as that was how we had seen it ourselves. We resisted, but bought a little model to make up ourselves Unfortunately the cafe wasn’t open so no nice warming drinks, but we were happy anyway.
Got back late but not stupidly late and the children were all able to surface in time for the last music school of the year. They’ve really enjoyed SMS and we’re definitely signed up for another term, but the more I hear about our nearest town music school the more I wonder if it might be better overall for us – rather more expensive but would include instrument tuition as well, plus it’s for children and adults = more expense again, but I’d love to learn an instrument alongside the children, and it would be good for Bob to pick up guitar again, I think, if that’s an option. We need to find out if their sessions include choir/singing, though, as that’s what the children get most out of at SMS and I wouldn’t want to take that away from them. Girls had ballet, then we all thought about unpacking…
On Sunday 5th December L’s godmother came to visit, bringing gifts The children always love it when Michelle comes, because she has so much time for them, but we managed a bit of a grown-up chat too (we were at school together so go back a long way) and a generally very pleasant afternoon, which we followed up by spending most of Monday with Michelle again, but at Emma’s house (J’s godmother and another old schoolfriend) – a very nice way to pass a few hours, even if meeting Emma’s gorgeous puppy did give the children ideas… Monday evening was judo, although iirc L was feeling too tired so gave it a miss. On Tuesday we went over to Gina’s so that J could have a last piano lesson before his exam, but at least didn’t have to go at stupid o’clock for strings group as that had finished for the term, then on to Djembe, with a horribly screechy car which Chris was able to reassure me was almost certainly not as bad as it sounded (and the garage managed to fix it very quickly the next day as it was in fact caused by a loose bolt – phew!). We swapped K, who was getting into the drumming, for SB, who was finding it hard on her delicate nerve endings (nasty toothy accident at the end of Okehampton), when we left early to go to violin, so SB and J did non-verbal reasoning tests while L and A did violin Rainbows Christmas party for L but no gym for the boys thanks to term ending in November!
Wednesday was a Latinetc day, rather a hectic one as we had puddlechicks without Merry and HH had to go out for part of it too. Lots of Skoldo French happened, and some GP French and I think both kinds of Latin, lots of fimo modelling – making the beginnings of a periodic table in fimo and then using remnants to make letter discs and interesting other little projects Baked potatoes for lunch seemed to work, but it was logistically interesting for first go with fewer adults than usual to organise serving up, as Zoe had to dash off to look after dog things, so it was just Gina and me with all the children at that point! K had ‘cello and then his Cubs Christmas party but J was feeling a bit tired and under the weather so missed his Scouts one (plus the Scouts calendar suggested it was next week, so we thought it was a normal meeting until too late ).
Thursday 9th December was Tots, as ever, then CHEF sports for the boys and then J’s piano exam, which he was very nervous about, particularly scales… Dashed back to teach, made easier by exams moving forward since there was a gap before our time and then enjoyed a nice gentle Friday – much-needed!
The girls had their last ballet lessons of term on Saturday, and Sunday was more dancing, with folk dancing for all the children in the afternoon. We left Bob at home to do jobs A nice quiet couple of days at home, doing gentle HE, music practices and lots of Christmas cooking and crafts, making chocolates and so on, and then we were off to London on Wed 15th (sadly missing a Christmas crafts Historyetc) to see Father Christmas at the Harrod’s Grotto. This is something I’ve been trying to book for literally years, but each time I only think of it too late for the ridiculously early time the tickets go up and miss all the slots. This year I finally managed it, and booked extra so others could join us We went in on the train and arrived with plenty of time to look round the toy dept. first, admiring all the displays and enjoying a magic show, then met up with Gina, Dave, J, E and S to go and join the queue… Considering it was free (apart from a £5 booking fee, which gets loaded onto a loyalty card for use elsewhere in the shop) it wasn’t bad, although the queue was quite long enough and the Santa we saw (I think they have several working at once, behind carefully guarded doors so you only ever see your own one) was jovial but slightly vague. The children were delighted with their outsize chocolate coins and pleased enough to get a book (until they realised they all had exactly the same book as each other!) and to pose for a photo (which we declined to buy; it was nice but not *that* nice!) and we were not rushed at all, so they all had a good chat. Afterwards the children were given certificates making them honorary fairies or pirates, signed by Mrs Christmas and Tinkerbell – they could have been signed by Peter Pan, but we didn’t wait to see him; the toy dept. beckoned again. We had packed lunch with us, but the Biffs didn’t, so we set off for a museum where they could buy lunch and we could eat ours. The V&A came up first, so they stopped there, but after a quick scoot round we went on to the Science Museum, since we had more time to spare than they did and there are better places to sit and eat your own food there. We then spent several hours in the Launchpad, including a talk about rockets, which found K and J dressed up in nose cone (K) and fiery helmet (J) sitting on wheeled chairs to demonstrate Newton’s second law of motion, and then L trying to push a heavy body (large man on wheeled chair) and then travelling at great speed halfway across the room when he took his turn to push her Once we were in danger of being thrown out (or locked in) we went back to Harrods to find a nice way of spending our £5, and of course ended up spending rather more The children begged for one of the magic tricks we had seen demonstrated (J has been practising and is now quite proficient at making lights appear from nowhere, pass through people’s heads and so on ) and we got a Christmas pudding for FIL, thus resurrecting an old family tradition.
Thursday was to have been a very difficult day, with Tots in the morning and then an afternoon of rushing around between violin stuff for L and tuition stuff for me, but fortunately my tutee cancelled (unfortunately for her it was because of a nasty accident at school, but it made my life easier at least) so at least we only had to be in one place at a time rather than two. It looked as though we were going to have some snow at last, but it stopped at about 1/2cm, not really enough to be any use to anybody! L played a duet with her teacher (Jingle Bells – nothing fancy!) and was one of the first to play because it was done in age order. She should have been first (since A was not playing) but there was somebody who had to leave early and so went before her – I think she was relieved! After the violin pieces Kate, their SMS singing teacher and A’s beloved Baby Music teacher, did some singing and games with the children while the adults got first go at the party food and a much needed cup of tea and then I left them to it, as Bob had arrived by now, and dashed off to teach my A-Level retake student – who gave me a lovely box of chocolates for Christmas
Quiet Friday, doing not much, but with friends round and then Saturday was Crisp Packet Fireworks, which was fab (we bought both the books!) and an extra child coming home with us, as S came for his long-promised sleepover. We returned him on Sunday, after the christingle service at our old church, and then were unexpectedly invited to lunch with A’s godparents (it’s been a godparenty kind of month!) which was lovely. On Monday we had been invited to a children’s social, but as it turned out Bob’s car wouldn’t start so he had to take mine and that left us with a quiet day at home, putting up the tree and decorations and then livened up at the end with “ice” skating in the annual town get-together. I missed it to be at home for a tutee who didn’t turn up (grr) but the children and Bob had a good time, at least. On Tuesday Bob still had no car so we performed some complicated vehicular manoeuvres to enable us to go and play/collect a bike and Bob to work (plan had been for him to work form home, but poorly work laptop knocked that one on the head – one of those weeks!) and then Wed and Thurs we stayed at home, which was rather nice actually. On Friday Bob’s parents, sister and nephews came across from Colchester for lunch and we had a very convivial few hours, then went to a family communion (kind of children’s midnight mass, at 7pm) came back and read lots of Jotham’s Journey, found socks to put up for those who couldn’t find their stockings (actually socks are far easier, especially when it’s one of a pair ) and left out three mince pies, some alcohol and a few carrots, as per Harrod’s Father Christmas’ instructions.
Music
December 29th, 2010 by bobThe boys are back where we used to live for another holiday orchestra, also known as no lie-in. J is in the older choir for the first time, K in the younger one, both are doing gamelan (J would want me to point out that he did advanced gamelan), J does recorder and K plays cello in a string band – his first time of cello there.
It has been great as usual, although the driving’s a bit of a chore. So far we’ve not been late, although cut it fine a bit. K managed to leave his cello there, which a nice lady put away safely when I phoned up. Phew!
As well as the tuition and performing, there are mini concerts by professional musicians to inspire them. This year it was Steve Bingham on the violin. He had a normal violin, which he was brilliant on – attempting to accompany himself doing Owner of a Lonely Heart by Yes (which brought back memories of my teenage paper round, as 90125 was on my personal stereo at the time). He even did the weird percussive bit in the middle by drumming on the violin.
His main thing is using an electric violin, effects pedals, bass pedals (like on an electric organ) and some other bits and pieces (including a laptop) to record himself live and then loop the recording over and over, adding in many layers of other loops. By the time he’s added in the last layer it’s like he has a bionic violin – when he uses his bow it’s like a whole song comes out and not just one part. Also it’s an interesting combination of live and pre-prepared. He has some programming set up in his kit ready to accept music to record and then repeat, but the music itself is all live. He did a Danish folk tune, Clocks by Coldplay and Pachelbel’s canon – marvellous.
I’m glad that he did say several times that all the gizmos don’t matter if you don’t have the fundamental technique on the violin.